What does it comes to your mind when you read and rephrase Unconditional love?
Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations or love without conditions.
Don’t take by surprise if you associate those two active words with true altruism, or complete love.
Although existing parallelism between both; each have their strength when describing unconditional love. Indeed, there’s agreement regards sustaining that is a type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging.
Also expectations between family members, comrades in arms or battle buddies and between others in highly committed relationships, comes back to our ear, when describing unconditional love. One should not act by expecting anything in return. To prevent transferring the scenario subjectively to the emotional area, boundaries are necessary .
Let’s review the following example:
A parent’s love for their child;
No matter a test score, a life changing decision, an argument, or a strong belief, the amount of love that remains between this bond is seen as unchanging and unconditional. However, parents at least shoud receive respect, gratitude, responsiveness and consideration at least as an outcome.
An outcome that will keep a brightening light inside everyone’s heart.
The balance of energy will be equally distributed.
Here’s the interesting flag;
Unconditional love is garnered and shared by those who love themselves first.
The following tips will help you receive and manifest Unconditional Love.
1. Love yourself unconditionally.
Unconditional love starts at home, with oneself. Identify, embrace and own your own shadow and shortcomings better than anyone else, and better than you can ever know anyone else’s.
When being able to love yourself despite this unsurpassable awareness of your own faults will put you in the position of being able to share the same to others. Letting go and move on, will become less struggle.
There is a safety rule with this and is that , you must be able to recognize, accept, and forgive your own imperfections in order to do the same for someone else.
If you cannot see yourself worthy of receiving unconditional love, you’ll never be able to deem yourself worthy of offering it.
2. Forgive those you love.
Even if someone doesn’t apologize, it’s inherently loving to both them and yourself by letting go of anger and resentment toward them.
Loving someone unconditionally does not mean liking every action they take or choice they make; it means not letting such things interfere with your desire for the best for that person in all things.
When someone you love says or acts hurtful in anger, the loving choice is usually to let them know regards their behavior and its effect on you, but also to forgive their indiscretion, unless if we were referring to deal with physical abuse. Which would certainly turn the scenario toward different direction.
Be emphatic without judgement, help them to grow and yet know that they are loved.
Keep awareness of not being willing to forgive for letting people walk all over you.
Extricating yourself from an environment in which you are repeatedly mistreated or taken advantage from, will interfere with helping them to grow.
Also will drain your unconditional self- love in the first place, turning tables in advantage for the benefit of the other person.
3. Choosing the loving choice.
Begin with the following question:
What is the most loving thing I can do for this particular person in this particular moment?”.
Love isn’t one size fits all; what might be a loving act toward one person could not have the same loving result to another one.
Unconditional love will be a new decision you need to make in every situation. Don’t let it become the easier and fast rule you can apply to everyone all the time. It’s a nice to have to the other side.
Maybe a person needs a shoulder to cry while coping with the loss of someone, while another would grief faster while granting some distance to make peace, and rejuvenate the inner-self.
Hence, avoid making it a one size fits all. Helping others to grow includes, rising awareness regards the meaning of Gratitude.
Gratitude will always awaken empathy, compassion, humility, and foremost… unconditional love.
“Gratitude is the best attitude.”
4. Don’t expect to shield someone you love from all discomfort and pain.
Don’t know why parenting pops up into my mind, when I think about it…
If you try to keep someone inside an bubble, (worse case scenario) blindfolded to acknowledge and share assertively recommendations regards adjustments or remedial course of actions able to improve your loves one, visualize if teaching or guiding overprotecting them will foster their growth as a person.
Providing them the tools to become resilient will truly help them to move on with mindfulness and grounding.
Keep in mind that pain and discomfort are an inescapable part of growth in this life.
Don’t lie to “protect” the feelings of someone you love; support them in dealing with their suffering through resiliency.
Learn to separate the ego from the process.
Avoid holding back, manipulation or lying about an important situation to spare pain, since it will foster more pain and distrust in the long run.
Instead, be honest, supportive, and eager to work together to find solutions.
5. Loving more through caring less.
Although sounds contradicting you want to “care” for a person in the sense that you strive for their well-being and happiness.
For instance you don’t want to “care” in the sense that your support will be predictable, hence taken for granted on specific outcomes, ultimately risking a change of love status from unconditional to conditional.
Not that “I don’t care what you decide, because your choices are irrelevant to me,” but instead be able to feel comfortable with “I will respect what you decide, because I just love you regardless of your choices and actions.”
You don’t love in return for actions that make you happy; you derive happiness from the act of loving unconditionally.
6. Accept yourself and loves one as perfectly imperfect.
Although we are far from a walking perfection, paradoxically we are perfectly capable of offering love; your loves one are likewise imperfect, but worthy as you of receiving of being offered love.
Unconditional love is about acceptance…
About not expecting others to make you happy through their choices and how they live.
You can’t control others, only yourself.
Your brother or sister may be notorious for his/her bad choices, but that should have no bearing upon your love for each of them.
“Don’t love because of the way, money or status someone lives, but simply because they live.”
Last but not least;
Glenda Lee Santos; Humble Military and Yoga Warrior; RYT-200 hrs; Criminal Justice, BA; Holistic Practitioner with Foundation in Yoga and Ayurveda.
1. Carl G. Jung: Wounded Healer of the Soul ( Clair Dunne) First edition.
2. Modern Man in Search Of A Soul. (Carl G. Jung and 2 more) First edition.
3. Owning Your Shadow ( Robert A. Johnson) First edition.
4. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff and it’s a Small Stuff. (Richard Carlson) First edition.
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