Only those willing to walk through the dark night, will be able to see the beauty of the moon and the brilliance of the stars.
Have you ever felt into a relationship, job, marriage or whatever comes to your mind embracing the following scenario:
From having a balanced (self loving oriented) heart chakra turning to over-active (unable to say no when in disagreement to certain things) to suddenly blocked (unforgiving) into the struggle to let go, without attachments even showing signs of co-dependency behavior?
You realize that there is no longer purpose to stay at certain place.
Suddenly time passes by while you end up realizing that it is time to lift a flag and if the scenario does not improve making you feel trapped, empty and unhappy. As such you could be in perfect state of health and when least expected during a routinely check up, receive an distasteful result.
Well my friends such is life. It is time to embrace that “kraken” instead of living in life long misery or unhappiness. It is time to let go and keep moving on…
Everything has a solution, which is into our hands to reach and self rescue.
It is time to love yourself enough to develop the required strength to initiate as such a transcendental movement.
Don’t you think that listening to that voice coming from within your soul, like melody, or even mantra has no purpose…
Because that is your wisdom intuitive body, lighting the path through this journey of resiliency.
Let’s begin with what is requiem.
It is a religious ceremony performed for the death. And please do not start running away from the word death.
Death is to life like night is to day. Or sunset to sunrise.
However, a requiem can also be a piece of music used for this ceremony or in any other context honoring those who have died or left.
I can’t help drawing back (years ago) my attention to a picture sent by my sister showing a box tighten with a black ribbon, and labeled as the surrender box.
Her soul surrendered to a draining energetic relationship that was not making her happy and she made that ceremony in order to let go and begin to move on.
1. To move on and rebirth from requiem would be the first and most important goal. Develop a goal setting structure.
• Be present (Boots on the ground)
• Follow up (What’s important now)
• Maintain motivation
• Monitor progress
Once you have that set…
2. Hunt for the good stuff (HTGS):
Not everything was bad at that place that allowed you too stay for so long if possible instead of recalling bad experiences focus on those moments that were surrounded by love and light .
3. Identifying your thoughts and the activating event:
This is important, because the consequences will spot your emotions which lastly inspired your final decision.
Recommendation and Example:
Journaling helps a lot, before assessment of the thought theme write down the activating event for each.
Loss (thought theme) vs Sadness/Withdrawal (emotions/reactions)
Danger vs Anxiety/Agitation.
Trespass vs Anger/ Aggression.
Inflicting harm vs Guilt/Apologizing.
Negative comparison vs Embarrassment/Hiding.
Positive contribution vs Pride/sharing, planning future achievements.
Appreciating what you have (HTGS) received vs Gratitude/giving thanks, paying forward.
Positive future vs Hope/Energizing, taking action.
Stop everything for a moment and draw your awareness to your physical body, its current state after that bring your focus to the present moment, and perform more optimally.
How will you do this?
Too easy “Just Breathe”
Begin to manage the level of energy flow this requires conscious breathing.
Refer to the menu at the page “Breath Is Life” where you will find different options of breathing exercises with instructions.
5. Avoid thinking traps:
Identify and correct counterproductive patterns in thinking through the use of Mental Cues and Critical Questions.
• Jumping to Conclusions: What is the evidence?
• Mind Reading: Am I expressing myself? Did I ask for information?
Hey if you don’t speak up, how do you expect others to listen?
• Me, Me, Me: Imagine that you are visualizing yourself and the scene through an outward lenses. Write this question How did others or the circumstances contribute?
• Them, Them, Them: Repeat the above last step, but changing the question to How did I contribute?
• Everything, Everything, Everything: Straight to the point. What is the specific behavior that explains the situation? What specific area of my life will be affected?
6. Identify and Balance any possible Icebergs:
We all have core beliefs and values target those that fuel out of proportion emotions and reactions.
The letter W three times, will help you. So let us begin with:
What is the most upsetting part of that for me?
What does that mean to me?
What is the worst part of that for me?
Now an iceberg is freezing so you might want to warm up and shelter yourself with objectivity.
Draw your awareness to:
• Whether you/ still believe/ value this freezing moment in order to consider if it could be overly rigid in certain scenarios.
• If your Iceberg is getting in your way in some situations and what specific actions you would take in order to modify and be flexible to make adjustments.
• What could you do to change your emotions or reactions to make these types of situations go better for yourself and others.
• If there is a more direct verbal approach for an assertive conversation.
7. Problem Solving:
Accurarely identify what caused the problem and identify solution strategies.
8. Put in Perspective:
Stop catastrophic thinking , reduce anxiety, and improve problem solving by identifying the worst, best, and most likely outcomes of a situation.
9. Mental Games:
Change the focus away from counterproductive thinking to enable better concentration and focus on the task at hand.
10. Identify character strengths in self and others.
And this is important because it will encourage yourself and others to build on the best of yourself and the best of others.
11. Character strengths: Challenges and Leadership.
Use Character Strengths in yourself and others to overcome challenges, increase team effectiveness, and strengthen your leadership.
12. Assertive Communication:
Communicate clearly and with respect, specially during a conflict or challenge. Use the following IDEAL model to communicate in a confident, clear, and controlled manner.
Identify and understand the problem.
Describe the problem objectively.
Express your concerns and how you feel.
Ask the other person for his/ her perspective and ask for a reasonable change.
List the positive outcomes if the person makes the agreed upon change.
13. Effective Praise and Supportive Responding:
Praise effectively to build mastery and wining streaks. Respond to others with authentic active, and constructive interest to build strong relationships.
Create winning streaks by using
• Effective Praise to name strategies, processes, or behaviors that lead to good outcome.
• Active Constructive Responding:
Is a style of responding to someone’s good news. It is the only style that strengthens the relationship.
Last but not least;
“Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.”-SY
Glenda Lee Santos; Humble Military and Yoga Warrior; RYT-200 hrs; Criminal Justice, BA; Holistic Practitioner with Foundation in Yoga and Ayurveda; CAI; CAHP; CCR; CCHP; CACR; SGC; MRT.